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Werner Herzog once described auctioneering as “th
e last poetry possible, the poetry of capitalism.” It is, according to him, an “extreme language... frightening but quite beautiful at the same time.” His 1976 documentary How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck captured the World Livestock Auctioneering Championship in Pennsylvania that year. In full flow, he observed the rapid-fire volley of words, rhythms and cadences which orchestrate the sale and stoke the fever for ownership. It’s a Friday afternoon, in mid-January, and the bloodstock sales arena of Goffs in Kildare is home to the second Novice Rostrum Auctioneer Competition of the Institute of Professional Auctioneers and Valuers (IPAV). Now in its second year, this event is organised by their Young Professionals Network wing and open to anyone who is deemed a novice which means they have undertaken less than five auctions in their career to date. There are twelve competitors, of which two are female, there’s a decent regional and age mix. Everyone competing and in attendance is white. This is not by design, but just a factual observation. The world of auctioneering and valuation is still overwhelmingly white and male. Only two of their 19 council members are women. It is, in many circumstances, a family-business and profession in which the mantle is passed down through generations. Indeed, if someone wandered in here with no idea of proceedings, they may well feel they mistakenly happened upon a far-right rally, purely through observation, given the arm-waving which is integral to the art of auctioneering. This is also mischievous misconstruing on the part of this writer who, along with the photographer, admittedly is also white and male. We blend in perfectly, apart from being too casually dressed. Straight-up suits and ‘horsey set’ garb is the order of the day. Screensavers are of horses and a neighbouring audience member is heard saying “goes like a dinger” to his companion. Sponsors include Property Partners ‘Local Knowledge. Nationwide’ which is a co-operative Real Estate Group. The Irish Independent are also on board informing us in the brochure that 63,000 of their print readers will sell or gavel in hand with nothing but their wit and words to save them from a savaging delivered by ballpoint pens. 46