TD 1
Brendan Since the late 80’s, Brendan has dabbled
in all kinds of jobs, from print to security, but it’s his time spent moonlighting as Santa that he enjoys the most. It’s also a very lucrative nixer, and for that reason, he’s asked that the article does not use his real name. It seems that not even Santa Claus is exempt from the tax man. But just because Brendan is taking pains to dodge the revenue, that doesn’t mean he’s doing the job for purely financial gains. Simply put, he loves playing Santa. “I get great pleasure out of it. I obviously find it rewarding for money, but if someone asked me to do it for nothing and I had the time for it, I would. I’ve always liked children and animals, they’re my big thing.” Why does he feel so strongly about children? “I suppose protective is a good word. Kids are innocence. There’s enough abuse of children going around in the world. I always say the welfare of a child is paramount. You know, some kids might see Spider-Man or Superman as a hero, but Santa would be a hero around Christmas for kids.” Every year, Brendan visits Our Ladies’ Children’s Hospital to see the children. “It can be very sad. You go around the wards and you see kids that won’t be alive in February, never mind this time next year. You just sit on the bed and talk with them. I’m at a certain age, I’m going to die at some stage, but a child is a child, they never got a chance at life. I love when the hospital asks me to do it, but it can be very harrowing at times.” That doesn’t mean that the job always weighs so heavily on Brendan. Over the years, he’s racked up his fair share of mad stories, not to mention a surprising amount of opportunities for Santa to do the dirt on Mrs. Claus. “One time I was doing a baby shower in Stepaside. When I arrived, the woman told me to go straight up the stairs to the bathroom to get changed, so she was the only person who saw what I actually looked like. After I went down stairs and gave out presents, I get my few bob and go back up to get changed. Then there’s a knock on the door; ‘Santa? I want to come in and see you.’ “I say ‘No, no, Santa’s going home now.’ And once I’ve changed, I open the door and there’s a woman in her bra and panties. As I said, she didn’t know what I looked like. Coulda looked like Donald Trump for all she knew! And that’s not the first time.” Brendan is at a loss for why St. Nick is so irresistible. “Women just want to jump off Santa Claus I suppose!” Still, he insists on not mixing business with pleasure; it’s bad for his reputation and he doesn’t want to be known as a bad Santa. As the Christmas season approaches, Brendan finds himself getting excited in a way that few adults do. “You look forward to putting a smile on a kid’s face. And you learn something new about yourself from doing it.” And what has he learned? “I’ve learned that I’m very good at it!” he laughs. “For me it’s a calling, without a shadow of a doubt.” 26 I open the door and there’s a woman in her bra and panties.